Easy

Getting pregnant is easy

or so it's been said

Your husband just looks at you

Mine too.

And a team of doctors, nurses, embryologists

The room is full of frenzy when I conceive

I just need to put it out of my head

To take a vacation, you say—

as if treatment has not already swallowed my savings

Because getting pregnant is simple

But if it's not happening for me

It might be my diet; something wrong I can't see

"I told you!" you'll say

when I finally have happy news to share

I wanted to be pregnant, and you wanted to be right.

But staying pregnant is not easy

So I'll worry every minute

Wishing for nausea; for proof of life

Maybe you'll sympathize, but you won't understand

what it's like to traverse an unforgiving desert;

to hold dreams as slippery as sand

No, being pregnant is not simple

But I'll chastise myself for complaining

Because every awful symptom is a flicker of hope

A light that once went out.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone

but sometimes I wish you could see

that your silent presence is all I really need

Not everything happens for a reason

Not everything is part of the plan

Some things scar in invisible, permanent ways

But sitting vigil is easy

So please rest your platitudes

and just be with me now—whatever comes next.