5 Steps to Overcoming Mom Brain
Stressed? Tired? Overwhelmed by the innumerable appointments, never-ending meal planning, and just one more extracurricular obligation forcing your brain to fire on all cylinders? Fear not! I have just the solution for you—and in 5 easy steps, no less.
Make a list of everything you must accomplish for the day. And write it on paper so that you can experience the full thrill of crossing it off with a red pen. (I highly recommend Pilot G-2 0.7mm gel pens—link in my Amazon Storefront.*)
Add to it periodically so that it becomes too long for any reasonable person to accomplish in a mere matter of 24 hours.
Add to it every time you cross something else off.
Add to it before you complete the task you got sidetracked by, like wiping sticky fingerprints off the sliding glass door or preparing an alternative lunch option for an exceptionally picky, teething toddler. Make another list of foods that she will most likely consent to stomach, even if only for the next 5 to 7 business days.
Put making a grocery list on the list, or it doesn't count.
Check email and text messages. Add to the list the baked goods you must buy (or make, if you're feeling particularly ambitious) for daycare, and outfits you'll need for school spirit days (What are we celebrating again? The last one hundred days of the school year?! Oh yeah, right, cool cool).
Make note of upcoming bills for the month and figure out when—and with which accounts—you intend to pay them. But don't do the math too closely or you'll realize that childcare alone costs more than you make in a week.
Finally, sign up for anywhere from 1 to 3 meal trains for friends who just had a baby or recently lost a grandparent.
Return to the grocery list and update with ingredients you will need for both daycare snacks and homemade freezer-friendly dinners.
Make a time-specific schedule for how you will accomplish each item on the list(s).
Factor in cushion time for the pre-bedtime meltdown that will inevitably ensue.
Allow 15 extra minutes for each list item just in case your toddler demands that you sit (no, not on the couch; yes, on the floor next to them, but no, not that close) and help them assemble Duplo blocks into a tower that they can immediately destroy. But make sure to spend that quality time fretting about the remaining list items you have not yet accomplished and wondering if you remembered to set out the chicken to thaw.
If you also work, make a separate list for job-related deliverables. Be sure to color code and rank in order of priority. Then spend 30 to 40 minutes each morning fretting about the things you didn't accomplish before you left the house.
Remember to send your boss a text apologizing for being late. Add to the first list a reminder to order new shoes (maybe a size larger?) because all seven of the options your toddler tried on this morning filled her with a white-hot rage that not even animal crackers could subdue.
Put your phone in "Do Not Disturb" mode and get started on the most pressing work tasks. Try not to get distracted by the ping ping ping of updates from the daycare app (because, obviously, you've elected to let that disturb you, just in case of emergency of course). Let yourself take a quick look at the pictures they posted because she really is so precious, isn't she? You really ought to soak up more time with her—you spend most of your day away from her already. And she won't be this small forever. Remember how small she was when she was born? Set a timer for 5 minutes to cry over her newborn photos. You may need to take your phone off "Do Not Disturb" for this. So while you're at it, go ahead and text your mom back and finalize that Walmart order. Oh! And don't forget to add the shoes.
Return to the list. Move all the things you didn't accomplish on today's list to tomorrow's list. Repeat in perpetuity.
*I don't actually have an Amazon Storefront because who the hell actually has time for that? But who knows? Maybe I'll add it to my list. 🙃
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