I feel you flutter, but it isn't enough. I go to the doctor's office; count all 10 fingers, 10 toes, wiggling before my eyes in 2-dimensional black and white. But it still isn't enough. I wake up twice every night to pee, feel the gurgle in my throat at an unwelcome smell, have all the wildest dreams. And it isn't enough. Maybe at 24 weeks—"viability," they call it. The week your cousin was born, and she's 6 now. Maybe then I'll feel confident. Or maybe not. At every appointm

Watching my body grow is a gift unlike any other. How many sleepless nights did I spend pleading for this; for a robust mid-section and a rounded belly to hold. I ached for stretch marks and morning sickness and midnight trips to the bathroom to pee, yet again. Each wearisome symptom a welcome reminder—it's working. It's really working. This is finally real. This body I once scorned has become my most prized possession. The belly I too often sucked in and sighed out disappoin